Potty Training Problem – Screaming Toddler
By Mike Strawbridge

Why toddlers scream when asked to go potty.

Toddlers scream for three reasons:

1- Pleasure. When they are enjoying themselves at play, they often make high pitched screams just for fun. These are like the high pitched barks a puppy makes when playing.

2- Pain. One of the defense mechanisms built in to most mammals is the ability to make loud noises to try to frighten off an attacker or to summon help in the event of an emergency. Like the sound a puppy makes when it gets it foot caught.

3- Fear. Similar to the pain response, a toddler may scream when confronted with a fearful situation. You may know there is no logical reason for the toddler to feel fear, but the fear is still very real to the toddler. Adding threats of punishment will not help the child overcome the fear. If you can learn to recognize the sound a a fear scream, you can more quickly react to calm the toddler before moving on.

There is also a forth reason the toddlers scream – because it is expected of them. You can see this in group play where after one child screams they all start to scream. But it also occurs when the child detects something in your emotions that may cause pain or fear. Like if you approach your child expecting a war over going to the potty, you may be greeted with a scream because your child senses that you expect it.

Again, I see this in my puppy. He will gladly chase me out the door or run out for a treat but the moment I decide he needs to go out because I am tired of fighting over what is a chew toy and what is an expensive shoe, he balks. He will sometimes even start to get his hackles up and begin to yelp. He sometimes senses my intentions even before I do.

So when potty training, it is important to keep your own emotions under control so that they are not projected onto your child.

Mike is an industrial performance consultant and a contributor to the potty training site blog.

http://pottytrainingsite.blogspot.com

and to http://www.pottytrainingsite.com

http://www.strawsolutions.com

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Toilet Training: One of the Joys of Parenting
By Samantha Ward-Grodd

Toilet training can be fun and drama free. The most important thing to do to ensure that the process is easy for all involved is to make sure that your child is ready before you start the process.

How do you know if your toddler is ready to be toilet trained? Well, there are some clear indicators that your child might be ready. These include long dry spells followed by a big wet nappy, being able to tell those around that they have wet or dirtied their nappy, and being able to pull their pants down/ up and sit on the potty independantly. Those are the main things to look for. If your toddler is showing these signs then they may be ready. So, it is your job to get the environment ready for them to learn to use the potty or toilet.

If you are using a potty then consider putting it in the place where your child spends most of it’s awake time. That way it is easy to access and you can remind your toddler to use it regularly. If you are using the toilet then consider using a toddler attachment to make your child feel more secure and comfortable. A step might also help your child begin to toilet independantly.

In order for toilet training to be as painless and smooth as possible, make sure that you and your child are ready. Some toddlers toilet train quite easily, while for others it becomes what seems like a long drawn out battle. If you are incredibly busy at work, moving to a new house or a new baby is due soon, it’s ok to wait a few months to let things settle down. You might need to be prepared for a few accidents and extra dirty clothes during the process.

Above all you need to make this a positive process for your child. They need to learn that this is a natural thing and should never be told that their body is dirty or yucky. Use lots of encouraging words and hugs to reward your child’s successes. Praise is a fantastic motivator! This is probably one of the biggest steps for your child and it’s worth your patience.

In 1995 I completed my Bachelor of Teaching, specializing in Early Childhood Education. I have worked in education since 1996. I started in Child Care as a Preschool teacher. I have also worked as an ESL teacher and have been promoted to the level Teacher of Exemplary Practice.

I’m a mother of two boys, 5 and nearly 2 years old. Although parenting my two wonderful children is my main focus, furthering my understandings about how children learn and develop is something of great interest to me. I have been doing a Master of Education for the past two years.

I am interested in parenting, as a teacher, as a mother and a member of a wider community. How we look after our children does impact on others in the world around us. I believe I have something valuable to share. I hope you find it interesting and useful.

For more informaiton and articles please check out my website http://www.saneparenting.com

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How Do I Know if My Child is Ready to be Potty Trained?
By Mary Eule

Well, as they say, if I knew the answer to this question and I could apply it to every child, I’d be rich! The simple answer is there no simple answer that can be applied universally. However, based on our extensive research and experience we can offer the following advice and tips.

The majority of clinical research studies suggest that you can expect that a normal, healthy toddler should be ready for potty training between the ages of 18 and 27 months (some girls may even be ready as early as 16 months) but that development signals are far more accurate predictors than chronological age. (NOTE: Consult with your pediatrician if your child has physical, mental or emotional challenges which might affect this process.) They also agree that:

1. You shouldn’t wait until your son or daughter asks to use the potty (they may be teenagers before this happens :>)

2. Language skills have little, or nothing, to do with effective potty training, and

3. If you’re waiting for your two-year-old to become less “stubborn”, they may be wearing diapers for a very long time!

Pediatricians have also identified other readiness signs. Your toddler is probably ready for potty training if they:

1. Imitate others – especially Mom or Dad

2. Get frustrated when something, or somebody, is out of place. For example, you might hear them say, “No, Daddy! That goes here!”

3. Try to undress themselves

4. Seem proud of their accomplishments

5. Appear curious about the toilet and genitals – theirs and yours

6. Talk about pee pee and/or poo poo (or poop)

7. Display awareness when pee pee and poo poo are happening – especially just before the fact

Additionally, if your toddler is able to sleep though the night without wetting his/her pants it’s a good indication that they’re ready.

TIP: If your toddler is still taking a bottle or cup to bed with them or they’re in the habit of drinking right before bed, you may still be waking up to wet diapers – even though they may actually be ready for potty training. If this is the case, you’ll need to run a small test. Stop giving them any liquids 2-3 hours before bed (Yes, it means they’ll have to forgo that bottle). Then make sure to change their diaper right before you put them down. This will make it easier for them to stay dry through out the night and allow for a more accurate assessment. Remember however, to check your toddler’s diapers right away when they wake up!

Now that you’ve determined that your child is indeed ready let’s continue …

How do I know if I’m Ready?

Thanks for asking such a great question! As you probably already know, success with anything requires planning, determination, commitment and work. It is no different in this case.

There are a number of methods for potty training your child but we advise that you choose one that is designed to significantly compress your child’s learning time and ensure that the journey is a joyful one – for both of you. And that’s exactly what will happen if you’re ready.

So before you begin make sure you’re ready to:

1. Commit to continuing the entire process even when you don’t think you’re making any progress whatsoever… (and trust me, in the beginning you’ll have your doubts!)

2. Prepare properly in advance – The preparation process should not be onerous or expensive so this shouldn’t be a problem

3. Believe that potty training your toddler will be a joyful celebration of an important milestone, not a headache… no matter what your friends and family tell you

4. Devote at least two full days (even though in most cases, tots really start to get the hang of it early in the evening on the first day) to working with your toddler. Many of our clients prefer weekends – a fine time to begin (unless there are too many distractions). This means no distractions, no shopping, no cleaning, no car pooling… If you have other children, it’s a great idea to get a babysitter or let them spend a day with grandparents or friends.

5. Go it alone – This works best with one person teaching… preferably a parent and the child. That’s it. Consistency is a key element and that is best achieved using one teacher and few distractions.

Remember, children have an innate desire for independence! No matter how stubborn your two-year-old is… they WANT to use the potty! Good luck!

Copyright 2005 Mary Eule

Mary Eule has spent her career helping people and businesses by researching and writing help guides. She’s the founder of two successful small businesses and an award-winning speaker. She’s the President of Strategic Marketing Advisors, LLC. She has a BA in Journalism/English from the University of Maryland and earned her a master’s degree from Johns Hopkins University.
She is the co-author of a new guide for parents, “The Official BRIEFS Potty Training Guide”. Visit her website at: http://www.AskThePottyTrainers.com to download her e-book, obtain more information or sign up for her monthly newsletter.

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